


Poor Simon

by DarkenedHeart



Series: Cat to Lover [4]
Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU, Alec & Simon Friendship, Alternate Universe, Archer!Alec, But it's okay. I appreciate the support., Cat!Magnus, Continuing some more., I hope I Tagged everything...., I thought that other one was the last part too..., M/M, Magnus does not like to be interupted..., Memory Manipulation (Mentioned), Pet names., Saphael Mildly Suggested, Simon is a very strange friend...., mundane!Alec, oh!, warlock!Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 02:42:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8269637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkenedHeart/pseuds/DarkenedHeart
Summary: "is it bad that i kind of want simon or someone else to find out now??? like you guys can't keep your relationship secret forever and tbh i'm just picturing simon walking in on them kissing or whatever and alec calls him by name and simon's like "????????????????" ..." [zukoelliot]I tried to do a reveal fic, but my Muse wouldn't allow me to keep the secret out. Not now anyway.So, basically, this is Simon being an odd friend, 'finding out', then getting his mind warped. Poor thing...





	

Two months. Alec and Magnus live together without any problems for two whole, glorious months.

Then Simon happens.

 

Alec is staying home on his actual day off and enjoying a movie with Magnus. The warlock is barely paying attention to the flick, his eyes constantly turning to his lover sitting next to him instead of the action sequence going on in the screen.

"Alexander..." Magnus says softly as he crawls over to lay himself out on his lover's lap. "Is the movie over yet?"

"You know it isn't, Magnus," Alec swallows the lump in his throat, valiantly trying to keep his focus on the movie instead of the temptation in his lap.

"How much longer?" the warlock hums as he starts to unbutton Alec's shirt.

"I don't know, I haven't see this one yet," the archer bats the other man's hand away but Magnus will not be deterred. He turns into a cat long enough to slice away the button, then turns back into a person.

"Really?" Alec looks down at his lover with a frown. "You better fix that later."

"I can make you an entire line of shirts dedicated to showing off your physique," Magnus smiles, reaching for another button. "Now...How much do you REALLY want to watch this movie?"

The archer looks up to the flick, the scene having already moved on passed what he remembers. He'll have to go back and catch up if he wants to understand any more of it. He sighs in defeat as he turns the thing off. "I guess we can watch the rest later. You needy cat."

Magnus purrs.

 

Alec's phone goes off and Magnus makes it disappear.

"Magnus," the archer chuckles as he pries the man off of him. "It might be important."

"Nothing is more important than you and me."

"You're really full of yourself, aren't you?"

"No, I just appreciate what I have when I have it."

"As do I and I will have my phone now," Alec lifts his eyebrows when the warlock doesn't do as asked. "Please?"

With an irritated huff, Magnus makes the device reappear. Alec answers it.

"Hello?"

"Thank you-Thank you-Thank you for answering!" Simon says all the words in one breath. Alec's worry rises with his curiosity. "Lydia is in the hospital, Sebastian has to take his sister to her dance lessons and I have NO archer to take care of these protesting clients!"

Alec pushes Magnus off his lap as he moves to stand. "Lydia is in the hospital? What happened? Is she okay?"

"She will be!" the techie assures the archer. "Nothing too serious, according to what she told me. Apparently it's something a man wouldn't understand. Her words not mine. I don't know what that means and I refuse to think about it because if I do, I might figure it out and if she didn't want me to figure it out and I do, then she might kill me and I do NOT what to die!"

Alec rolls his eyes as the other man heaves in deep breathes to catch back up on his air intake.

"Okay, this is what you're going to do," the archer stats in a calm, steady tone as he starts to dress. "You will address the clients. You will tell then that someone is coming. You will offer them something from the café, free of charge. If they start to get nasty, you can offer them a refund. If that doesn't work, then walk away. Say that you need to make an important phone call to the higher ups to talk about their complaint. Wait-" Alec freezes, dressed, and with his hand on the nob of his front door. "Why are you calling ME about this? Isn't there a manager there? I'm not your boss, Simon."

"You're better than a boss, you're my friend!" the younger man announces too loudly. "The boss is out of town on a seminar. It's like the universe is fighting against me, trying to make me the world's worst employee! I am going to be mugged by these people, Alec! Mugged! Then what will they say about me? They'll probably keep my last paycheck from my parents just to spite me after death. I hear corporations hold you personally responsible when things go wrong. I'm sure it's true."

"Breathe!" Alec snaps as the other man desperately heaves against the phone even more than he did last time. "Simon, you are allowed to BREATHE when talking on the phone while you are speaking! Please, do so!"

"Sorry! I'm sorry, sorry," Simon sounds a little lost now. "I just don't know what to do. I'm here, all alone, and there is nothing I can do. I'm just the IT guy. I don't know the fletching from the plastic feather piece."

"Simon, the fletching IS the plastic feather piece."

"See what I mean!"

"Okay! Calm down," Alec sighs. "It will take me ten minutes to get there. Do you think you can hold yourself together till then?"

The techie barks out a sad laugh, "Like I have a choice?"

Alec ends the call as he opens the door. He turns back to Magnus to tell him what's going on and flinches at the glare sent his way. After a second of collecting himself, the archer realizes his lover is really glaring at the phone in his hand.

"Simon needs me."

"I gathered," Magnus growls, still glaring at the device.

"I'll be home as soon as I can."

A low, angry mewl answers instead of words.

"Bad kitty," Alec jokes as he leaves the apartment, locking the door before running to catch the next bus.

 

The place is not as bad as Simon made it sound. There are only three clients waiting in the lounge area and they smile as Alec walks into the building.

"I'll be with you in a moment," the archer assures them with a point of a finger as he goes behind the desk to look for signs of his friend. The techie is crouched in a ball just behind the desk.

"Really, Simon?" Alec hisses, causing the younger man to jump.

"Alec!" Simon jumps to his feet with a wide smile. "I have never been so happy to see anyone in my entire life! Well, except for that one time when I was stuck in an apple tree and the farmer got a ladder to get me down, but that was YEARS ago. I can't believe I remembered it, actually."

Alec allows the man to babble on as he checks the schedule book to see what he's working with. It's a pretty light day, which would explain why only two archers were previously scheduled to work. He checks the emergency fill in book and calls Katy in for back up. The woman readily agrees and says she's on her way before hanging up. Alec turns his focus to Simon.

"Why didn't you call any of the back up archers?"

"We have back up archers?"

"Why would I-Never mind," Alec sighs, double checking the first name. "There's a woman named Katy on her way. She has auburn hair and usually wears something leather. I met her a few times in passing. She should tell you her name when she gets here. I'll take over until she does, but then I'm leaving."

"Katy, auburn hair, leather, got it!" Simon nods with every other word. He quickly hugs the taller man before he can leave. "Thank you for saving me!"

"You can make it up for me by not being so clingy," Alec sighs. He smiles at his first client, "Mr. Valentine? Hello, my name is Alec. I will be your instructor for today..."

 

Katy does get there, but she's so unsure of herself that Alec can't pull himself away from the place after all. 'After all,' he thinks, 'what's the point in leaving when Simon will just call you and babble in a steady stream while he forgets to breathe again?'

 

Simon tries to 'make it up' to his friend by driving him home.

"Me taking you in my van saves you at least two minutes of bus time, plus there's more room, and you can pick a few songs if you want. I have a large collection with multiple genres. I prefer pop/rock myself but I've recently been inspired by jazzy/dubstep. Though, that doesn't have any words. I usually use it for my work out session. Do you work out, Alec? What am I saying? Of course you do! I mean, just looking at your arms it's obvious! Hey, do you think I could get arms like yours if I start lifting weights more often?"

Alec rubs at his temples as he forces himself not to snap at the driver. Simon was honestly a nice guy. He just talked...way...too...much....

"We're here!" 

The archer is grateful to be able to escape. He quickly thanks his friend as he hurries out of the vehicle and into the building. 

 

Alec hates the fact his apartment is a few floors up as he runs up the stairs, but he soon finds himself in front of his front door and smiling. As he unlocks the door to step inside, excitement pumps blood faster through his veins. He's ready to be rid of babbling friends, whiny clients, and just wants to hug his boyfriend; no matter what form he's in.

Magnus does not disappoint. Alec doesn't' even have time to close the door before he's jumped by a furry ball of happiness.

"I didn't want to go either," Alec chuckles as Cat Magnus licks at his face. "But, could you maybe, be your other self?" The archer might be slightly more excited to hug the humanized form of the other man.

The warlock changes, his legs planting themselves on the floor as his kitty licks turn to human kisses.

"I hate your Mundane friends," Magnus mumbles between kisses.

Alec chuckles as he kisses him back. Normally, he would argue but he can't come up with a good counter point. All he can manage is a half-hearted scolding, "Magnus."

 

"Oh my g-Alec you're kissing your cat?!"

Both men jump as they turn to the still open door. Simon is standing in the threshold, mouth gaped open and a gift basket in his arms.

"Simon," Alec nervously looks between his lover and his friend. "What? Why are you here? How long have you been there?"

Magnus flicks his wrist, pulling the younger man into the room and slamming the door before they can hear an answer. Simon's glasses go flying off his face as he desperately clings to his basket and squeezes his eyes tightly closed.

"Please don't maul me!" Simon begs, eyes still closed so tight it looks like it hurts. "I didn't see anything! I swear! I just wanted to bring Alec this gift basket from my grandmother! That's a lie, it's from me. Don't hate me because I'm overly friendly!"

The techie starts shaking as he huddles behind the plastic wrapped basket.

Alec sighs as he pulls himself out of Magnus's arms to pick up the glasses from the floor. Thankfully, they're not broken. The archer brings them over to the younger man. When he puts a hand on the boy's shoulder, Simon flinches away.

"We're not going to hurt you Simon," Alec assures his friend as he holds the glasses in front of the boy's face. "Here. I got your glasses."

Simon squints one eye open to look at the glasses. Shakily, he takes them and barely manages to get them on his face. He stares up at Alec as his other eye opens to widen in shock. His voice is tiny as he asks, "What are you going to do to me?"

Alec rolls his eyes at the dramatics but it's Magnus who answers, "Nothing painful. Pity though, you interrupted us during a very important time."

"Magnus," the archer sighs tiredly when he sees bright, yellow eyes glaring at the still frightened IT guy. "You're not helping."

"I'M not helping?" Magnus scoffs. "You do know I have to wipe his memory now, right? Which means we'll have to take him home. Which means you will be even more tired than you already are. Not to mention the fact that tomorrow, you'll most likely want to 'check on him' in the morning. All of that takes away from our time together."

"Sorry, 'wipe my memory'?" Simon's strained voice prevents the archer's retort. "So, you're not going to kill me? Because I don't want to die. I know I talk too much but I can keep quiet about things. Honest. Just ask my cousin Vinny. No, don't ask him. He lies. Ask my sister. No, not her either. Just take my word for it. I can shut up about anything."

"I really wish you'd shut up now," Alec growls with his growing frustration. Simon's mouth shuts with an audible noise. The archer rubs at his face as he turns to Magnus. "Will wiping Simon's memory hurt him?"

"Not unless he fights against it and tries to get it back," the warlock answers, finally pulling his glare away from the younger man to smile at his lover. "I could make him forget all about you, if you want. I could wipe you off the face of the earth. That way this could never happen again!"

"As nice as that might sound to you, I'll pass," Alec shakes his head. "I need to exist, Magnus. I have people who care about me and I them."

"Can I at least wipe you from your coworkers' mind?"

"No."

"How about for only a few days?"

"No."

"What if I make them remember you having a month paid vacation?"

"No-Wait, you can put memories in?"

"Of course!" Magnus shrugs with a flourish. "I can do anything! I am the High Warlock of Brooklyn!"

"A warlock? Really?" Simon's voice goes from petrified to awed in seconds. "How is that possible? How many of you are there? Is there, like, a secret world where you guys exist?" He gasps. "Is ALEC a warlock too? I always thought the guy was amazing. Not that I wanted to date him!" He quickly adds when Magnus makes an angry noise deep in his throat. "I just look up to the guy, that's all! Honest! I'm talking too much again, aren't I?"

Alec raises an eyebrow when the babbler actually stop to wait for an answer. "Yeah, Simon. I think you should be quiet for a little while now."

"Right. Shutting up," Simon makes a motion as if to 'lock' his lips.

"I can do that for real," Magnus offers under his breath as Alec moves to stand next to him.

"No," the archer looks at the time. "It's late. We've got to get him home soon. I think he still lives with his parents." Simon turns red but nods in the affirmative. "Right, so I don't want to get him in trouble by carrying him home. Do you think you can wipe his memories after we get him home?"

"Do you actually trust the trembling thing not to shout out our secret to the world the second his parents open the door?" Magnus counters with a frown.

Simon 'in-zips' his mouth, "I won't rat you out! I promise. Alec is my friend! I don't want him to get hurt. I don't want to ruin whatever you two have got going on. What IS going on? Are you two a thing now? Is that why Alec hasn't tried dating? You two are together? How does that work? Is Magnus still technically a cat?"

Magnus waves a hand in a circle with a trail of yellow sparks and Simon falls unconscious.

"Yeah," Alec changes his mind about his plan. "maybe I can say we went out drinking and he had one too many. Or that he fell asleep at work due to exhaustion."

"I'm still going with you," Magnus decides as he walks over to the unconscious guest. "This boy is a menace to society."

"He's just incorrigible," Alec counters as he watches the warlock wave a hand over the young man's head. "He needs an outlet. Maybe I can get him on a blind date or something."

"What about that Spanish boy?" the warlock asks as he finishes wiping Simon's memories. "He seemed patient enough to handle all..." he looks down at the techie with a small grimace. "...this."

Alec laughs as he moves the basket from Simon's arms to haul him into his shoulders. "Let's just get him home, shall we?"

"If we must," Magnus rolls his eyes.

 

Simon's mother is surprisingly understanding of her son's unconscious form. She thanks the archer as he carries the boy to his bed.

"He can get so...excitable, about things," Mrs. Lewis smiles brightly as she walks the archer back to the front door. "Thank you so much for bringing him home. How are you going to get back?"

"I've got a ride coming for me," Alec smiles at the woman. He's glad he didn't need to lie too much and that it looked like his friend wasn't going to get in an enormous amount of trouble. "Have a good night, Mrs. Lewis."

"You as well, Alec!" the woman waves as the archer leaves the home.

 

Magnus is waiting for Alec around the corner, leaning up against a fence like a model posing for a picture. Alec swallows down the excitement the view gives him.

"The boy tucked in for the night?" the warlock asks as his lover approaches. He pushes off form the fence to link their arms together; his eyes glamoured to look normal.

"What is he going to think when he wakes up, exactly?" Alec counters with a question. "Is everything going to be a blank? Or is he going to have a headache?"

"You're sweet," Magnus runs a finger up Alec's bicep, causing a trail of shivers to follow in its wake. "Little Simon will wake up refreshed and just as chatty as normal. He won't even realize he's forgotten anything, though I doubt his mother will let him forget how he inconvenienced the most amazing man in the world."

"I'm not that great, Magnus."

"You are to me."

 

They walk down the streets, arm-in-arm. The night air chill against their faces as the starts twinkle as if dancing in amusement.

"We should probably come up with some way to be warned when there are surprising visitors," Ale muses aloud. "Set up an alarm or something so that I know if there's someone staring at us from the doorway."

"It's your fault for not closing the door."

"You're the one who prevented me from closing the door."

"You ran off to save the day, first."

"Lydia would have murdered me in my sleep if I had left Simon to fend for himself. He was probably texting her non-stop, even though she was in the hospital!"

"You have terrible friend, Alexander. I don't like them."

"You don't like it when they get in your way," Alec smiles, pulling the other man a little closer. "But we have the rest of the night and I'm not going in tomorrow because I was supposed to have today and I WILL get my day off."

"You'll still check on the chatty one in the morning."

"That's what cell phones are for. Beside," the archer shrugs. "I trust you. If you say Simon will be fine, then he'll be fine."

Magnus sighs as he rests his head on Alec's shoulder, "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

Alec turns his head to kiss the top of his lover's head.

"Same thing I did to deserve you."

 

\---

**Author's Note:**

> I am legally inclined to state I own nothing.


End file.
